6 can be 9 same ways W can be M or even E -By Swandy Banta

Life is an irony, it is a mystery, we never know what card would be played on us, but like I have said once in this column, life is not fair, it is just, whether 6, 9, w, m or E, some matters in life is 10/10. So tag along with me, let us have this encouraging sad gist.

I knew a certain man who was busy pursuing his livelihood and his earthly concerns until six months ago. He began to have some kind of headaches in a particular section of his head that defied painkillers. Very soon he had to frequent the hospital for checks and diagnoses, which took another month or so. Finally the prognoses came out grim. He had a kind of tumor growing in his brain and it was growing really fast. Well good thing he had the money to immediately leave the shores of this country for India where he hoped to get cured.

I wish I had good news, but I don’t. The long and short of the story is that he returned to Nigeria in a body bag and was buried last weekend.

I also remember the day my Dad was buried. There was this family friend who was having health challenges. My Dad’s death really got to him because he enjoyed a good relationship with him. He insisted on joining the Bus for the burial ceremony (a 3 hour journey from Abuja). I later learnt that he continued to rejoice with my dad for the kind of smooth passage he had enjoyed in death.

I wish I had good news, but I don’t. The ambulance that transported my Dad’s remains home for internment was the same ambulance which took his body back to Abuja. I even later heard (don’t know how true) that he took my dad’s exact place at the morgue that same day.

I hate to bore you with these sad stories but I still have one more.

Early this year one of my aunts was dressing up for work on a beautiful Monday morning when she noticed a lump on her breast. She tried to ignore it since it was not painful but as the weeks passed it became necessary to see a doctor.

I also wish I had some good news about her visit to the hospital, but I don’t. She died of breast cancer over a month ago. Less than a year after she discovered that seemingly harmless lump on her breast.

Here’s where I get confused……….

I know a lady. A mother of two beautiful boys who was also diagnosed of cancer (the same breast cancer) a little over two years ago. Stage 4 breast cancer to be precise. Nike took to alternative treatment. She changed her diet, like my aunt who passed away earlier this year did.

She ran the complete course of the treatment and today she’s cancer free. I had lunch with her two weeks ago. She told how she was so grateful to God for giving her another chance to watch her boys grow up.

I’m happy for Nike.

I also have a friend Joshua. He is my Buddy. Some three years ago he too was diagnosed of a very life threatening kind of cancer which was spreading really fast. At that time I was one of the persons who advised him in strong words to run to India (the same India where the certain man I knew died) before he dies here of poor care.

Joshua went to India.

I have good news for you. He didn’t return in a body bag. In fact he got cured of the ailment and is doing very well today. I’m happy for him

Honestly sometimes I get very confused about how the world works. Sometimes what is good for the goose is not good for the gander.

How can it be that there was a Belview plane crash and all passengers on board died while Sosoliso plane crash had survivors. What even qualified the persons who survived the plane crash?

Imagine for a minute the story of Mafella the Pilot who narrowly missed the quake in Makassar as he took off with passengers back to Palu last year. The pilot told how he was praying and felt a strong urge to leave before his take off time. And just as the plane left the airport the quake began and in a few minutes there was no airport anymore because the earthquake had claimed the airport and taken many lives.

But in that same airport there were other planes that were due to leave the airport. Why did they not have the same urge to leave ahead of schedule? What was special about this pilot and these same passengers? Most annoying was that the officer who defied the quake and bravely saw to their take off was not spared by the quake.

Honestly I don’t have the answers to the questions I raised. But I’d like to share some facts I’m sure about:

1. The fact that my friend Nike survived stage 4 cancer while my aunt died of the same kind of cancer does not mean my aunt was bad and Nike is good.
2. My friend Joshua, Nike, the Pilot Mr Mafella, the survivors of the Sosoliso plane crash and myself will all still eventually die. The last time I checked, death rate is 10 out of 10

• I have assessed from several angles and discovered that life and living is more about donation than duration. It’s not how long but how well.

1. Being angry when life deals us the short end of the stick is a total waste of time and emotions. Whenever it happens, however it happens and whatever the circumstance in which it happens, the best favor to do ourselves is ACCEPT IT
2. Finally there are quite a number of things that we will never understand about life until we cross the bridge of death. I think it’s better to face forward and live your life on purpose rather than waste limited earthly time trying to understand things that are beyond human comprehension

I don’t know what life has been for you. You might have been consistently dealt the short end of the stick, enjoyed the special favors of deliverance or probably never even had your life experience any major shaking.

I think you should not live in the fear of what could, would or should happen. Just be preoccupied with fulfilling your purpose.

I’ll leave you with lyrics of the song “See you when you get there” by 2Pac.

I’ll see you when you get there
If you ever get there
See you when you get there
I’ll see you when you get there
If you ever get there
See you when you get there

I pray we all get to our expected end in spite of what end of the stick life deals.

Swandy Banta is blue blooded, ask her what that means and she gladly tells you, she’s been through the tunnel of pain and she found illuminating light. She writes and coaches on the difficult subject of pain. Whether it’s national pain, community pain or the pain of loss and the hurts of life that makes us all ask why—she brings new perspectives. Swandy can be reached on swandy.banta@gmail.com